My thoughts on Sensitivity:
I, like many women, have been accused at times of being overly sensitive. After a long week at work or a mean comment from a stranger, tears well up in my eyes and begin to stumble their way down my cheeks. But as I’ve grown, I have found that I am less ashamed of the emotions that I am feeling and as a result I have begun let others in on the state of my mind and heart.
Unfortunately, I believe women in general fight an uphill battle with this. It has been shown that women engage in conversations regarding relationships and emotions whereas our male counterparts discuss facts and current events. Whether by nature or by nurture, I, as a woman, observe the interactions between two people at the table next to mine at a restaurant. I read body language as well as verbal cues in an effort to fully understand the message that my friend is trying to get across when she’s getting hit on at a party. In general, I make an effort to be in touch with my emotions as well as the sentiments of others.
Consequently. I laugh AND I cry.
Having been confronted recently regarding my sensitivity has caused me to step out of my own skin and attempt to gain an honest impression of myself.
What I found was comforting.
It’s true that on certain days, in the company of honest friends, Mufasa dying in The Lion King could cause a lonely tear. Yet, this same sensitivity – which is so often frowned upon – is an essential tool that I will use as a mother to care for my children. It’s the same instrument that lets me ask a friend or significant other “what’s wrong?” before they gain the courage to bring it up on their own. In short, I found that my sensitivity as a woman is something to be proud of, not ashamed for. And that revelation has made me much more comfortable in my own skin.
Living just to find Emotion:
I get a lot of criticism from the people closest to me regarding my emotions. Only the people very close to you really have the ground to let you know that you are being a bit dramatic. One friend in particular give me a weekly Annie, you need to level it out when I go from my highest high, to lowest low in a matter of a few hours.
I am emotional. I feel empathy for strangers. I fall in love with other’s acts of kindness. I throw myself into new friendships, divulging my secrets in an attempt to learn someone knew. Music makes me cry (as do proposals, a lot of TV shows, and thinking about my Dad+Grandpa).
I leave myself exposed, and am told that I need to be careful or I’m going to get hurt. True, but what is the other option? That I don’t feel? That I don’t see the beauty in a random smile? That I don’t make a fantastic fast friendship that lasts only a month or two? That the sun on my back doesn’t make me feel elated?
I’m over here livin just to find emotion.